Smart Alien
by Carnage
Summary: The title says it all! Oh boy... I will update as often as I can! Been off a lot, hope you like the new updates!
1. Prologue

Aliens  
  
1 Prologue  
  
The guard yawned. He had only been at his station, guarding their precious cargo, for two hours, and already he was tired. He yawned again and decided to have a walk around his station to stretch his legs. Might as well look at what he was guarding.  
  
He left the nice warm leather chair he had been sitting in, behind the desk with the annoying leaflets scattered over it, and opened the locked door with a key card around his neck. He stepped in and shivered.  
  
What was in the room wasn't horrific – it was only 3 or four humans, all in stasis, with a fifth human at the very back. Hell, the room wasn't even cold, despite the mists enveloping the floor. What was horrific, what made his skin crawl, was what these humans were being used for. Food, and as incubators, for each one of these poor souls were carrying an alien baby. All for company profit. Phooey. The guard shivered again.  
  
As he turned to leave, he heard a cracking. He turned back, and he walked down the aisle between the stasis tubes once more. The camera in the corner of the room whirred as it followed him, its red light blinking. He looked carefully at each one, noticing no difference. But he was positive it had come from in here.  
  
There it was again. He walked down to the aisle to the stasis tube facing the door. Inside was a male, approximately 12 years old. From the report the guard had been given, he was carrying the Queen, while the rest were drones. He hoped that it didn't-  
  
The cracking sound increased, and he saw hair-line fractures covering the visor. He leaned closer, and then stepped back as he realised what a dupe he had been. He whirled, and saw all the rest of the stasis tubes break open, shattering as the Aliens all escaped their hosts in a horrific and fatal attempt at freedom, at life. The guard screamed as the gore of the hosts covered his uniform, and tried to run for the door. The company had promised the tubes would have made them sleep, they promised…  
  
Just as he reached the door, it slammed shut in his face, and that's when he panicked. He turned around, and screamed at the camera, "Let me out of here you stupid fucks!!! They'll eat me alive!"  
  
A mechanical voice echoed over the intercom, it's words closing upon his heart like an ice-cold fist. "We are sorry, junior, but we believe that if we let you out now, then the whole ship could become contaminated. They could escape. Sorry, but that's the company's policy. Have fun, kid." It's final words mocked his entire existence. "Your wife and kids will receive your death insurance. Have a nice day." The intercom became silent.  
  
The guards mouth moved soundlessly, barely daring to contemplate what was going to happen to him, the heartless bastards, contamination his ass…  
  
At the skittering and chittering behind him, he turned slowly –  
  
And came face to face with a stasis tube, all four Alien babies pushing its bottom. Impossible, he thought, they're not that smart…  
  
The visor shattered, and a long, thin, black rod punched out of the stasis tube and slammed into his forehead. As his head exploded, the pinkish-white hue of his brains were creating a colourful collage on the wall, as the cold men in grey suits watching the camera video surveillance tapes on Earth sipping their cocktails, calmly watching the Alien children frolic in the red of their childhood, so was the single most dangerous creature born in the galaxy – a truly sentient Alien. 


	2. Chapter 1

1 Chapter 1  
  
1.1 Sergeant Alexander Wallis stepped of the transport onto the stale, flat, scentless space station, preparing himself mentally and physically for what was to come.  
  
He looked about him at the sterile walls, his suitcase floating beside him, banging into his leg. He was tired, incredibly tired, from the long sleep in space. They should make the stasis tubes more damn comfortable.  
  
A small man, with a mousy moustache, approached him and a wide belly with the same lab coat that he was wearing, showing that the man was the head officer on this heap of junk. And, from the way he walked, damn proud of it.  
  
"Welcome, Sergeant, welcome!" He shouted out heartily, slapping him on the back. "Have we got some studies for you! I'm telling you, there is no possible way that you could find more exciting work elsewhere!"  
  
The sergeant tensed, knowing full well what they were both here for. The man that now led him to his quarters, hand on his shoulders and chatting jovially, was here for the research, and he was here, with his platoon, for the protection. Since he was the only one with brains on his outfit, he was the man who would be accompanying the professor in having his head roll if anything went wrong, as well as helping him on the project. And the subject?  
  
Company Aliens. He shivered.  
  
They had been stolen off a planetoid not too far from here just before the planet blew up, and brought to a company on Earth. Of course, the government had found out and had taken them off their hands. He still didn't know why the damn creatures were alive. The company had been researching them or something…  
  
"…horrible, absolutely horrible you know, I can't believe the company used them like that…"  
  
"What?" said the sergeant, exasperated.  
  
"Hmm? Oh, I was just saying that the Aliens were used for entertainment. They were forced to fight each other to the death. Barbaric, what?"  
  
Only what they deserve, the sergeant thought to himself.  
  
***  
  
In a lab farther down the corridor, an Alien woke from sleep. It's scars from its own birth mates were stretched thin as he searched for the reason of his awakening. He grinned widely as he found the source. Outside the confines of his cell, an understanding mind was walking slowly his way…  
  
"Whoa!" The small man next to him exhaled loudly as a technician ran out of one of the doors and slammed into the sergeant.  
  
"What's going on here? And what do you think you're doing, running into a sergeant like that?"  
  
"Sorry, sir," the young man squeaked, "but the… special one is going nuts. You'd better come see."  
  
"This better be good," the sergeant grumbled, and gasped as a dark, ant- like face was pushed in front of him. It grinned, and saliva fell off its teeth. He looked straight at them, then started bouncing around the room. It looked crazed, scrabbling all over the walls. It's black claws flashed as it scrabbled away, and then pounded back to the window and started slicing at it with its tail.  
  
"Don't worry, Alex, he can't get through," the man said at the look of horror on his face.  
  
"Shock him," he said to the assistant.  
  
"But, but sir…"  
  
"NOW, Damn it!" The man roared.  
  
The man depressed a small red button, and the room beyond filled with lightning, emitted from two constrictor lasers, he saw. The drone dropped from the ceiling, where it had been banging his head against it. The drone dropped to the floor with a sickening thud. It just lay there.  
  
"Don't worry, Alex," he said again, seeing the look of horror again on the mans face, this time mixed with fear. "Do you really think I would be stupid enough to kill one of the Army's trained pets? No, he's just stunned. Look, he's coming around now."  
  
He looked into the closed-off area, and saw the drone lift itself off the floor and shake its head. The drone growled, and reached its tail up and scratched the glass. The Alien then snorted, turned its head and settled down to sleep.  
  
"Well, that's that. That Alien is sub-sample one, taken from Earth during that dreadful takeover incident. We found it, all by itself, hiding under the hulk of a spaceship. It must have been abandoned by its company."  
  
"How many did you lose?" Alex asked. The major scratched his chin.  
  
"Well, that's the funny thing there, Alex. The thing didn't even attack us. He just sat there and looked at us, even as we put a restraining collar on him." He leaned closer to the sergeant.  
  
"Tell you summat," he whispered, "It was almost freaky when we brought him in. He pulled towards the meat locker, and then, just as we try to get him in a cage, he actually unlocks the restraining collar, slips out of it, runs straight out and down the corridor, scaring shit out of the crew, and runs into the meat locker. Now you know them locks, they're as hard to break out of as ten inches of titanium, and their locks are even harder to understand."  
  
"Oh, sppoooky," Alex muttered.  
  
"That wasn't the spooky part," the sergeant said. "The spookiest part was, when he was finished, he was back in the cage. What I mean is, we were all in a frenzy, looking for him, of course, and we had all gone to command centre and looked at the cameras. And there he was, just sitting there, a wide open door in front of him, and he hadn't taken the opportunity to get out."  
  
"Whoa," the sergeant gasped, and looked at this strange thing. It was asleep now, (or as close to sleep as it could get), as it had it's head in its paws. It didn't seem anything special.  
  
"Oh, don't you get the 'oh, its so bloody smart', routine, or I'll shoot you. We all know an Alien is one of the stupidest, dumbest creatures in the universe, and this one," here he pointed at the Alien, who had reared its head, "is a prime specimen!"  
  
"Calm down, now, Charlie, we've all lost someone."  
  
"Screw you, Alex."  
  
"Well, um, sir?" asked the technician. Alex blinked. He had almost forgotten about the technician.  
  
"What?!" the major screamed.  
  
"Well, um, he kinda doesn't like being called, um-"  
  
"DO YOU THINK I CARE!?!? THE STUPID THING CAN-"  
  
The sentence was silenced by a fist punching through the glass. It was black, and covered by an exoskeleton.  
  
Oh, god, oh God!! were his first thoughts, as the major was slammed against the glass, once, twice, then finally pulled through it. The jagged glass shattered even more, and the major was chucked onto the floor of the cage by the hand.  
  
"What happened to 'it can't-" He was interrupted by the technician quickly pulling out a gun and firing it, directly through the glass, all six rounds. There was a pause, and then there was a shocked silence as the technician dropped his weapon. The Alien crawled through the glass, clinging to the ceiling, then dropped to the floor, scattering more glass. His long arms brushed the floor, and he grinned that long toothy grin, the one that murderers get before they have committed the crime. He advanced toward the technician, who, with his gun spent, was backing up against the door, which was naturally automatically locked from the outside. The Xenomorph opened his jaw, and his inner jaw extended…  
  
This was the moment the sergeant had been waiting for. He quickly unhooked his magnum and stood in front of the technician. Before the Xenomorph had time to react, he shoved the gun between its teeth. It froze.  
  
That in itself was frightening, as no Alien just stopped after having something put in their mouth. They bit down, or they ripped the arm off of the owner, but this gun had been modified by the sergeant himself, and the Xenomorph seemed to know that. The gun had a trigger mechanism, for when even the slightest pressure was put on the guns barrel, the gun went off. The other mechanism was, when it wasn't in its holster, an automatic heat- sensor was activated. If there wasn't any of the sergeants own DNA on the gun at all times, the gun went off. The arm could still be ripped off, but the most likely thing to happen was for the gun to be flung from the arm and then – BOOM!  
  
The Alien was still frozen, with half of the barrel down its throat. It seemed intelligent, so he took a chance, with the technician cowering on the floor.  
  
"Okay, you listen to me you," he muttered, staring the murderous, relentless, killing machine in where its eyes would have been if it was human, "I think you know what this weapon is. It's a magnum, and even if it wasn't jammed down your throat, it could still put a sizeable hole in you in the space we have. It would probably kill me, but that wouldn't matter, because I would have sent you with me. Now, these men here," he nodded his head in the direction of the technician and the Colonel, down in the cage, screaming his head off and crying, his legs probably broken, "happen to be good friends of mine, so you leave them alone. Now, why don't you get back in your room before the marines arrive with their pulse guns rifles, or before I blow out the back of your head with this?" He waved the gun threateningly.  
  
The Alien, stood still for a moment, then twisted its head to one side. It pulled its head back off of the gun, and then turned towards the window. The sergeant sighed and drew a hand across his forehead, which came away glistening with his sweat. He lowered the gun in his good hand.  
  
Big mistake. The Aliens tail whipped up and knocked the gun out of his hands. He blinked, saw the gun in his hand one second, and the magnum flying through the shattered window the next. It landed in the room below, clattering, the sound followed by a loud report. The Alien twisted, hissed, then jumped past him and ripped off the grille to the vent behind him. Before this action had even registered in his mind, the Alien had slid into it and was gone. 


	3. Chapter 2 - The realisation

Chapter 2  
  
He stood, slack-jawed, blank-eyed as the Aliens skittering faded. Then, suddenly, sound came back to him: the screams of the colonel down below, the whimpering of the technician. He was relieved. It meant they were both alive, and his magnum had gone off in the opposite direction of the colonel. He shook his head, and immediately pressed the big, red button on the control panel to sound the alarm. The rooms lighting turned red, the sirens started to blare, and he suddenly felt strangely at ease. The horror was gone, and he sighed in relief. Someone would be here soon, and he would be relieved of this nightmare.  
  
That was when he realised the Alien was still on the loose.  
  
He started shaking, his hands were shaking, and he crossed to the door, trying to pry it open. He heard marching footsteps on the other side, then let go of the middle of the door as the welding started at the top. Within five minutes the door was free, and he stepped out into the white lighting, dragging the technician, still blubbering, into the siren-filled hall. He turned to one of the soldiers, still holding the plasma rifle, still smoking, and dropped the sagging technician in his arms. He started rapping out orders to a few of the soldiers.  
  
"Get the colonel out from below. He's broken his legs, and may have a gun shot wound. You," He pointed to the man with the technician, "get him to the medical area, and give him a shot of painkillers and some damn hard- ass sleeping pills. He'll need to go into therapy after this. The rest of you," He turned to the group. "Follow me, and hurry up. We got a Xenomorph on the loose."  
  
The soldiers – saddled up, he supposed they called it – and ran with him down the corridor. It was only 5 minutes later that he realised he knew dip-shit about the station, and they needed to know where the Xenomorph was quickly. He asked for one of the walkie-talkies, and the troupe stopped. He pressed the button.  
  
"Big Momma, Big Momma, we have a Code Black, repeat, Code Black. Please advise, and tell me what the adjoining rooms are, by ventilation shaft, to the Analysis area 215, Over." He depressed the button, and waited while the people at the other end shouted, panicked then organised themselves.  
  
"Yes, Sergeant, Code Black received and understood. We trust you have soldiers? Good," they crackled over the receiver, not even letting him answer. Stupid question, really. "Adjoining rooms are cargo bay 4, Labs 1 through 4 and cargo bay 2, areas 1 and 2 heading East, area 3 heading West. Do not, repeat, do not attempt to tackle on your own, wait for further assistance. Over."  
  
Further assistance? Did they not trust him to do it right? One of them would fuck it up royally, and knowing the now hysterical technician, he was probably the things best… best chance? What the FUCK was he on about? Giving the thing a bloody chance was out of the question! The government would have his head, and hang him by his balls if he dared approach the thing. Ah, screw them, what did it matter? All this, he thought as he sent half the men to the East areas, and the rest joined him as he travelled West. He had a feeling, almost, that he would find it there. God, he was going to die. He knew what he was going to do, and he didn't know why the hell he was thinking it.  
  
"Sergeant, information regarding Code Black, has been spotted by electromagnetic pulse in cargo bay 2. We have sealed the area, and he cannot leave. Approach with caution, and restrain the subject, Over." He stared at the thing.  
  
Eh? They had told him not to approach before? What the hell was going on? He asked the questions over the receiver.  
  
"We have been advised by higher authority, Xenomorph is of extreme interest, to not destroy subject. Sacrifice is necessary to keep subject in a non-terminal position." The crackle paused, then continued, "You have been specially requested. Enter alone, sergeant." The crackle stopped.  
  
They had reached the cargo bay doors now, and he approached them cautiously. The soldiers tipped their hats to him, and one gave him the pulse gun. God, it was like a funeral, except the subject was still alive, they were giving him their last respects! He had never really felt scared until now, which was, to him, strange, but the soldiers pushed him along, and gave him the thumbs up. They were relieved, they hadn't been specially selected. He gulped, and gripped the plasma rifle like a dying man. Which he sure as hell felt like.  
  
The door opened, and immediately the marines behind him pulled their weapons, blocking the creatures only exit. He gulped, then stepped in, skitterish as the door swished closed behind him. He was 5 again, scared of all the shadows, and saw the camera swishing back and forth above him, its reflection of the boxes stacked around him almost comical, and the flashing, blinking red light far above him. He mentally screamed at the person who thought it a bad idea to leave lights out of cargo bays. Stupid thing to do.  
  
He moved the gun left to right, almost tracking the invisible thing, the black horse that trampled and addled his brain in different directions, towards fear, and anger. The radio crackled again, and he pressed the button, almost frantically.  
  
"WHAT?! Can you not see I'm doing something here?!" He screamed at it, then listened carefully over the hissing.  
  
"BEHIND YOU, YOU STUPID-" the sentence was cut off, when he realised that the hissing wasn't from the radio. The radio fell from his hand, and he gripped the gun with both hands. Sweat ran down his fore-  
  
He felt a tingling, the tingling you get when you know something bad will happen, and whipped around. IT was there, right there! It turned, and slammed its tail across the gun, whipping it out of his hands, then tripped him up by swishing its tail the other way. The back of his skull hit the metal, and the last thing he saw before it all went black was it, standing above him, dripping saliva onto him, its teeth pulling from its jaw. Then it went red, and finally, blissfully, to black.  
  
He woke up. He felt groggy, like after a five day cold-sleep, and the back of his head felt wet. He put a hand there, and groaned. It felt a lot like blood. Now what was that doing the…  
  
He lifted his head quickly, and looked around. Panicking, he looked for his weapon. It could have gone anywhere, slid into the shadows where it was now probably waiting. He remembered what happened, remembered all right, and looked at the camera. He looked toward the door, its green light shining steadily far, far away. It hadn't changed, and he remembered, with a sickening feeling, their last words to him: "Sacrifice is necessary.". He felt like crying.  
  
He looked around him, and realised how stiff his neck was. How long had he been out? An hour? Two? He cricked his neck, then giggled. How ordinary, with the monster still in here. Or was it? He contemplated. They could have opened the door, and sent someone else in, and have captured him. They wouldn't have noticed him, and since he had…  
  
He started, and searched himself. The radio was gone, and he knew he had taken it with him in here, to get advice. Then he remembered he had dropped it. That blow to the back of his head was confusing him, mislaying things.  
  
He heard hissing, and stiffened. Then he relaxed. If he was to die now, then he was to die. It hadn't actually done anything to him, it had left him alone, so he had a pretty good feeling it wasn't going to kill him. Not right away anyway. He listened hard.  
  
The hissing was from the radio, he was sure of it. Words jerked out into the air, none of which made sense, and feeling confident that it was out of here, either by itself or by the marines, he didn't care. He approached the boxes nearby, cautiously, no-one got hurt by being cautious. He peeked his head round the corner.  
  
Sitting on the floor, hissing loudly, was a strange contraption. Most of it was the radio, but the circuitry was ripped out, and flowed all over it. In places, there were metal objects, and extra parts he had never seen before. There were fuses, he guessed from the door, which was why they hadn't come in yet to get him. And if they hadn't come to get him…  
  
He whipped around, and it stood there, its arms hanging by its sides. It held a box in its hands, but that wasn't what he focused on, all he saw was RAZOR SHARP teeth, and ant-like skin, and claws, and nails, and sharp, sharp things…  
  
He went crazy. That was his reason, he was sure of it, when he thought back on it. It was his only reason, the only reason he could think of to explain how he could think he, a human, could have gone up against one of the most feared creatures in the galaxy. He swung at it, his only weapon, and it grabbed his whole arm and lifted him up. He bit it, nearly breaking his teeth, and swung at it with his legs and free arm. It held him higher, and he screamed and shouted obscenities at it. He was scared, terrified, and anything to make it go away, far away, to leave him alone…  
  
It ignored him, and picked up the box he had been studying. it turned, and headed to a far-away corner, human held far above its head. It dropped him in a bundle of arms and legs, and he twisted away. He grabbed something anything, and came up with a screwdriver. It was turned away now, he could take it…  
  
He approached it carefully, when suddenly it turned, and thrust the box at his hands. He dropped the screwdriver, the box taking up the space. He stared at it dumbly, then felt the Xenomorph's hands against his neck. He gasped, wheezed, and scratched at the hand. The Alien looked at him, its head to one side, then dropped him again. He cried out, then started screaming at it again. It turned away, picked up the screwdriver, and jammed it into the box. It held the box before it, cocked its head one way to the other, then set it down in front of him. He looked at it dumbly, then scratched his head. The box looked like a mess to him. Then:  
  
"You mother-fucker, you let me go now! I swear, I'll rip you a new-" It cut off. The Alien shoved a finger in, ran it around, then the message played again, but shortened,  
  
"You – let – go – new,"  
  
He stared at the thing, astonished. It not only knew how to operate the electrics (why didn't he see it before, it ripped out fuses to stop doors working!), but how to sort out sounds. It stared at him, he thought, then he thought of an idea. He saw no record button, but the thing understood. It grabbed a pair of pliers, and poked in the box. It brought its hands in front of it, like it was offering something. He spoke. He spoke, long, hard, fast, slow on long words, but he spoke. He spoke the alphabet, and after an hour, was done, and the Alien repeated 


	4. Chapter 3 - The study

Chapter 3  
  
Authors note: Okay, okay, I may use just a little of the ideas that Steve Perry gave in his novels, and that's cause I like `em so much. Again, don't sue, as I have no money and they are being used in different context! If I haven't described the Captain beforehand, please tell me by R+R! Btw, I was pretty stuck for a while on how to get around the idea of prejudice against the Alien, how it wouldn't have a bullet in its head the moment it shattered the glass,, the idea of it actually knowing about electronics etc., as it has never encountered them before, but hey, this is a work of fan - "Fiction", right? And I've tried, u gotta give me credit for that!  
  
The Alien still sat, looking at him, as the machine finished stuttering the last words. He stared blankly at its huge, smooth forehead, and stared into the folds near that spot that could hold eyes. It's black, reflexive surface drew him in, into his own mind, where he grappled with the tremendous idea growing there. He did not want to think it, as that meant a danger beyond dangers, but he so hoped it would be true, so that he - they, the whole human race - could to begin to control it, to teach it not to ravage and destroy. He buried the first scenario, and decided the second had a better overall outlook. He looked at it, then at the box. Then he spoke directly to it, "Uh, hi. I'm, uh, a human. You're, um, an Alien, as I've noticed, and you've probably, um, noticed..." he sweated it out. What a stupid sentence to use for First Contact. He must sound like he did when he had first asked a girl out, stuttering and really, really dumb.  
  
The Alien looked at him, then tapped out in the box, using the pliers, on something that looked like melted solder, yet seemed a bit too, what was the word, silvery? No, that wasn't it, that sounded dumb. A bit too much like a metal? That must be it. He concentrated on the box again, as the Alien, through the translator, spoke again.  
  
"More - tools - needed. - You - get - me - equipment? - I - work - you - listen, - huh?"  
  
He nodded, dumbfounded, and glanced at the Alien again. It seemed ageless, yet he knew it had lived for nearly 5 years, much longer than any ordinary Alien would have in captivity. For some reason, they just lost the will to live away from the Queen. He kept staring at the Alien.  
  
The Xenomorph stared straight back.  
  
Then it struck him. It couldn't leave without him! Without him, it would be destroyed as soon as he left, and would be attacked and cut down before it even opened the door. And as a minor matter, the door was locked, but he had no fear that the Alien could unlock it anyway.  
  
Oh, okay then. Let's get going, Science Lab 4 is down this same corridor, but you should know that, having been in it through the vents, hmm..." he thought aloud. "Wait a minute, I can't just walk out of here with you! I'd be shot down, or court-martialed for even thinking of threatening the whole ship with a fully-grown Xenomorph! What to do, what to do..." He looked around quickly as he thought, as all Marines and their lackies were taught to do, and by chance caught sight of the camera, still whirring away merrily in the corner of the cargo bay, but facing towards the door. It must have become stuck when the Alien had jumped him earlier, and he repelled the thought of it, but went right ahead...  
  
"Could you get me up there, to the camera? At that whirring thing," he clarified as the Alien looked at him in a somewhat blank way, "I'll be able to tell the control-centre you're harmless. I would just radio in, but you kind of ruined the only form of communication in the room." He pointed at the box.  
  
The Xenomorph looked down, then grabbed him, jumped up to the ceiling, clung on and scrabbled over to the camera and stuck his face in front of it. It all happened in a second, so fast that his head spun, and it took him a moment to realise that he was on the ceiling, being held by thin, cable-like arms that were so far away from the floor... He screamed. The Xenomorph throttled him, gently, and he calmed down. He looked toward the camera, away from the spinning floor, and, flustered, spoke towards it, "Sergeant Wallis reporting in, Sir. The Alien is harmless, repeat, harmless," It growled at him, "and will not hurt any soldier. Tell the soldiers to back down, we're coming out." He turned toward the Xenomorph, whose saliva dripped on the floor, and told him, "Okay, now, nice and slow, toward the floor. Don't forget, I'm only bones, and you've a hard YARGH!"  
  
The Alien ran for the door, still on the ceiling, then dropped him when it was above the door. He landed in a heap, muttered a "You call that slow?!" then lifted himself off the ground, a few joints cracking from his drop, and faced the door straight-backed. Something black dropped beside him, and pressed the button to open the door before he did. Light flooded the cargo bay, and he saw the silhouettes of soldiers readying arms. He held up its arms.  
  
"It's alright, men, nothing to worry about, just an, er, Xenomorph." He only now realised how crazy that sounded. Suddenly, he was just really tired.  
  
"Look, guys, it's me, I ain't crazy, it won't hurt you. For Jesus' sake, you've got Pulse Rifles! Keep us under armed guard, but he'll probably get to Science Lab 4, anyway. Right?" The guys faces stayed passive, but with the Xenomorph mimicking his raised arms, a few dropped their weapons. One of the soldiers, wearing full acid-proof garb, covering his face but not his thickly-muscled, chocolate brown arms. stepped out of the ranks and handed him a piece of paper. It had the signature of the Captain, who he had not met yet, and a short message followed.  
  
"Sorry, sir, higher orders. You're to proceed to Science Lab 6 for testing, follow us there, and that...thing...had better keep its hands up." The Alien rattled its tail threateningly, but knew the odds were against it. It kept its hands up, with the translator above it.  
  
"I wouldn't insult it if I were you, and we're going...Science Lab 6? That's - That's reserved for special experiments, special equipment! What are we going there for?!" His voice rose in panic, about to lose his new specimen before he had studied it more.  
  
"Like I said, special orders. And for what it's about, I didn't ask!" The soldier raised an eyebrow. He raised his gun, then pointed it towards the passage to their right, and back to him again. The sergeant sighed, and followed the soldier to the Labs.  
  
The journey was short, with the Xenomorph losing its temper twice, but thankfully only lashing at the walls. The sergeant wasn't far away from hitting something himself, this was so frustrating! They arrived at the Science Labs, and the soldiers gathered round the doors again. The soldier who had given him the orders stood to attention, then pressed the button to open the doors. He nodded and said, "The Captain will be with you in a minute."  
  
The sergeant and the Xenomorph walked in, the translator rattling slightly.  
  
The Science Labs were large and spacious, with silver desks along one side of the lab, and tubes, cages, glass and metal, tools and many things that even the sergeant couldn't identify. The Xenomorph paused inside, then dashed to the tools side of the lab, then dashed across, holding silvery items in its hands, and even its tail gripped a small wrench. It worked hard at the tables, so much so that the sergeant was fascinated by its absorption. It stood there, its tail lashing from side to side when an explosion happened, and totally extruding the outside environment.  
  
The tap on his shoulder came out of nowhere. He had not heard the door open, and he whipped around quickly. The technician from the pen stood there, arms folded slightly, and tapped his foot.  
  
"What? Is the Captain here? He's supposed to be meeting us. How are you, by the way, you looked horrific when they took you away!" He was puzzled at the ripe laughter he could see wanting to burst out of the technicians chest, and also puzzled at the twinkle in his eyes.  
  
"Still not figured it out, sergeant? Why, I'm surprised. It said on your Letter of Application that you were quite smart. It must have been mistaken!!" The laughter burst out of him, and the sergeant looked at him, puzzled. His eyes widened as he finally figured it out. How else could he have gotten down here?  
  
"What? You're the Captain? You?! But, but,"  
  
"Come now, sergeant, don't be too upset. I was pretending to be a technician, and to be terrified out of my wits. Very good act, no? But we Germans are very good actors." The sergeant listened carefully, and did detect the hint of an accent. "I loved that specimen see, was very interested when it did not pine away and die like the rest, and loved to be with it, so I pretended to be a technician so as to be with the subject as much as I can. I know a lot about it now, its moods, its thoughts, its routine. When you arrived, as you saw earlier, the Xenomorph went berserk. I didn't know it had to be you till later, but it shocked me so much that I dashed out to the corridor, where we encountered each other. I kept myself a secret for the time-being, as you didn't need to know, huh? Anyways, I knew the Xenomorph was acting strange because of you when you entered the viewing area over the pen, and decided that it wouldn't hurt you when it dashed past you to the vent. Which is why  
I sent no soldiers after you in the cargo bay, even though I saw no activity from the camera, even when I saw the flash of black. I was the one who ordered the soldiers down, and even was kind enough to get you an area here, for you to study it. The Alien seems to listen to you more, as he never has avoided trying to kill someone when I tell it not to."  
  
This large barrage of information was a lot to take in, and the Sergeant jerked as the Alien placed something on his head. He ripped it off while it put it on the Captains head, and studied it. It looked slightly like a mouthpiece and earphones mixed together with a television aerial. He looked up from it as he saw the Alien place a small, black box on its forehead, strapped it on, and motioned for him to put on his headset. He put it on again, covering his ears with the headset.  
  
"Right. So now that we can communicate, I can get comfortable. I also need a replica of these given to each of your staff, and they are easily configured, so don't worry, they can be translated to other languages too," A voice whispered in his ear, disembodied but hard to hear around crackling, hissing and other things on the line. "I understand that you would like to experiment on me? That would not be highly recommended, considering my temper, and also the composition of my blood. Though the glass cage does look quite inviting...Understood, Captain?" The Alien stared at the Captain. He looked a bit dazed.  
  
"Oh yes, loud and clear. We'll get you set up straight away. External experiments will be satisfactory, I hope?"  
  
"Depends on what you mean," the whispery voice hissed back.  
  
"Oh, electro-chemical scans, study of your brain patterns, mainly questions and answers sessions. Nothing too stressful, it's just that, I need SOMETHING to give the laboratory boys here..." the Captain scuffed his shoe into the floor.  
  
"It sounds adequate. Since your collective body seems to dictate the advancement of this operation, then the closure of the project must be prevented so that the liquification of the project and its subjects is not finally initialised."  
  
The two of them stared blankly at it. It sighed.  
  
"Big bosses get no progress, you go-go very quick-quick?" it gave helpfully.  
  
"Alright, no need to get sarcastic, don't forget who keeps you alive here, bub. Jeez, we give you a small part of our language and suddenly you're Fred Astaire!" grumbled the Captain. "I'll make the necessary arrangements. Sergeant, bring your belongings here immediately. At least the guys upstairs will allow that, if we give them this to chew on for awhile."  
  
"Huh? May I ask why, Sir?" the sergeant asked, stricken. The Captain grinned at his confusion.  
  
"Well, how else are you going to study it? That does bring up a question," he said, speaking into the mike. "What sex are you? We've never got close enough to study your species, we don't even know whether you have two separate sexes like us. And we need to give you a name. We can't keep calling you `it', or `the Alien'." The Alien grinned.  
  
"I am male, but we change sex every 3 weeks to try and keep our species alive. You remember my mood swings of late? And as for a name," he hissed, annoyed. "I was not given one by my brethren. And Human names are meaningless and pointless to me. I tried a one myself, but it sounds like:" Here, a huge amount of hissing and static blasted over the headphones, and they ripped them off in pain. They put them back on when they assumed it was safe.  
  
"As you can see, it is very distressing. I have no knowledge of human names, and since it will be more comfortable for you to call me by a human name, why don't you think of one for me?" The two humans looked at each other. Neither was a father (Military conditioning hardly allowed it), so they had no experience of name-calling, except in the worst pubs in space.  
  
"Uh, Bill? Roger?" tried the Captain. He withered under the Aliens glare.  
  
"We need something that will be smart, human and easy to use. Hmm..." He put his hands in his chin.  
  
"I know!" Shouted the Captain, like he had won a contest. "What about Socrates? That's easy to remember, and he was one of the smartest humans around." He spread his hands wide.  
  
"I like it," came static over the line. "But what about him? Isn't he the smartest human around?" He pointed at the poster that a post-graduate physicist had placed on the wall. They pondered it, and eventually all three nodded.  
  
"It is easy. But is Einstein even alive anymore?" 


	5. Chapter 4 - The decision

Chapter 4  
  
Authors note: Very short chapter this time, I've been quite busy for a while, what with bleeding SAT's coming up. Lots of revision, etc., which is why I haven't updated for so long. The bit about money, don't know where that came from. Don't even understand it myself! Enjoy!  
  
The time that Einstein was experimented on went quickly, as he was very short tempered, and the times that he was playing a very enjoyable game he had challenged the Sergeant at when he had seen the Scientists experimenting on him playing it in their spare time, became much more. He talked while he and the Sergeant played the games, but being behind the glass (couldn't be too careful), he couldn't move very well, as the Sergeant moved the pieces to his instructions, and the Alien translator (aptly named by the Captain) was full of static, Alien hissing and wrongly translated words, even at the best of times. Einstein worked on this when the Sergeant and the Scientists slept, which was not often, as the station ran on a 28 hour day. He improved upon it, sometimes frying himself, and sometimes it was dangerous to try and attempt to experiment on him when he had the device in his hand, as he had cut the power off at least twice. The Scientists learned quickly, and seldom  
disturbed him when he was working, but prepared experiments around the room for later. He eventually put down his latest achievement in the box, and was willing to be start the experiments.  
  
The experiments themselves were slightly taxing for a human, but Einstein was an Alien (Author: hee, hee). He went about them with a will, but this wasn't hard as they were usually brain wave patterns, which involved him concentrating hard on pictures and producing different brain waves. It seemed that Aliens were happiest when eating, sleeping and working, and their colour for happy was red, contrasting to blue for humans. This made perfect sense, being that most Alien food had red blood, and the survival of the species depended on rejuvenated Aliens. There were some bendings of the original scheme set down by the Captain, but Einstein was happy to comply when the Sergeant was in the room. The one time that he had urgent business to attend to, which was to go to his cousins funeral, the Alien was frustrated and angry, and one of the technicians learnt not to stick an electrode on a pissed-off Alien, even with nearly an inch thickness of steel-reinforced glass between them.  
He was led out the room without an arm, after another technician was brought in to clear up the glass and blood left behind. Einstein had swished his tail back and forth the whole time, licking his lips, Wallis heard later.  
  
The technicians were easy to come by, so this caused little problems for the operation. For some bizarre reason, the Government wanted the Alien to become a school subject, with the pre-college graduates feeding it and conducting minor experiments, such as using the Alien translator, or monitoring EMP in the subjects brain. It appeared the Aliens were slightly telepathic, which explained their escapes when they were separated. The students, however, were about as keen as going to their lesson as being flushed out into space, as the Alien scared them deeply, grinning at them every time they tried to come near it. It put them off, and many pretended to be sick to miss lessons. Eventually, the Government realised that the students had deep etched fears, so dropped the program.  
  
After the students left, there was much more leisure time available. Eventually, Einstein was trusted enough to be let out of his cage during the night, and, with the barrier of communication broken, he started beating the Sergeant at every game of chess.  
  
It was during one of these games that the infantry of a platoon was changed forever. Einstein was beating Alex 17 games in a row, while eating his dinner - raw pig - and sticking his claws into a spare translator once in a while. Watching Einstein eat always made the Sergeant nauseous, but living in the same room as him made it pretty hard to avoid meals. He was made more nauseous by their conversation.  
  
"So, Alex," they had gotten onto first name basis, "why are you called Sergeant, even though you are clearly a scientist?"  
  
"Well, Albert, I used to be a soldier before I realised that Science was the career for me. I tried other jobs, but they were really only money making ones."  
  
Einstein had heard of money, and had seen some of the technicians exchanging coins, so thought it was now time to ask about it. So he did.  
  
"What's money? I don't understand it." Wallis laughed.  
  
"Of course not! Hardly any humans understand it. I'll try, though. It's our currency, what we use instead of food."  
  
"You eat money?"  
  
"No, it's like - Okay, hypothetical situation here. Say you had an, umm, something like a rat. Not very tasty, huh? Oily and greasy. Say you met an Alien who liked rat, but hated pig. Now, you like pig, so you trade the rat for the pig. You enjoy your pig, he enjoys the rat. Now, you like the pig so much, that you get 4 rats for him to get 2 pigs, as it is very dangerous and hard to find pigs."  
  
"It is?" Einstein had never really been a real Alien, which was lucky really, as if he had, he would have probably killed everyone by now. His idea of hunting was placing the plate in the corner and pouncing.  
  
"Yes, it is, outside anyway. So anyway, you `pay' him the rats for the pig. But instead of rats, we use coins. That's how we get our food, see?"  
  
Einstein nodded, then shook his head. "Nope, understood Nada." Wallis sighed, and just said, "It's complicated,". Einstein usually took this for "I don't know".  
  
"Okay, next question," he asked, as he swiped Wallis' king off of the board. He licked his fingers, then motioned for Wallis to move. He did so, chuckling. "You've been waiting all day for this Q+A?"  
  
"Yes," Einstein said, knowing from the experiments that Q+A stood for Question and Answer. Einstein moved, checking his King. Wallis chuckled.  
  
"Well, then what is your question?" he said, moving a bishop in front of the King.  
  
"How do you join the army?" he asked, as he `ate' the bishop with a rook. It took to the end of the game to explain how to join the Marine Corps, and by the end of it, Einstein's mind was made up.  
  
"I have decided," he announced, checkmating Wallis' King and standing on his hind legs, looking more intimidating, "I want to join the Marines." 


End file.
